Friday, April 2, 2010
Sania's wedding and my woes
Infact , the very expectation of this marriage patching up tensed Indo Pak relations is like expecting Zandu Balm to cure the third stage cancer in the body. Right now , the mood of both the nations is not to have any diplomatic dialogue , ofcourse other than our Foreign minister Mr. S.M. Krishna and home minister Mr. P. Chidambaram.Even Pakistani foreign minister Mr.Shah Mahmood Qureshi said "I am not interested in any photo op with Indian Foreign ministry " .In the prevalent cynical mood of both the countries , this ensuing Nikah should have brought about some kind of mood elation if not exactly euphoria but unfortunately , so far what all it has brought about is only skeletons from the cupboard.
It's neither the fact that she is getting married to a pakistani nor whether she will play for India or Pakistan that I am worried about( Given, her performance of last 2 years , I don't think India will lose too much or Pakistan will gain too much whether she palys from here or there). But ,I would have been equally worried about her happiness , had she been marrying someone from Burkinafaso and her wedding reception had not been in Lahore but Ugadaodao because of the kind of signals we are getting from her Inlaws family .My gut feeling says "all eez not well".How can be I be sanguine when .....
Her brother in law says that "she is allowed to play after marriage" and
her mother in law says "I do not like her skimpy clothes and her mingling with other guys".
You see , If I had to be allowed by my brother in law to do something which I have been doing all along or my mother in law were to attend my wedding with a black band on her arm , I would have thought twice before getting married .
The innocent Sania declared that she would continue to support India in a cricket match and would cheer her husband when he will play for his country . I find an innate problem in this seemingly simple solution that
Sania will find win win situation in a India pakistan cricket match only when - her husband plays very well and despite that India wins . Now, this match dynamics is very precarious and finding happiness while watching cricket seems to be in doldrums to me.
If Ayesha (Shoiab's ex ) has to be believed , she told the media that he kept telling her that he was embrassed of her being fat and insisted on her losing weight and attain 58 kg mark . Boy, this expectation is so completely outrageous ! I am worried about Sania as the upper limit of her weight has already been fixed and whether she would be able to do this tight rope walk and will remain well within her prescribed limits?
With my experience of being married for nearly 18 years ,I want to tell Sania what I tell to all my cousins and nieces and nephews that -
Too many expectations can mar the bliss of a marriage .
It's better to have your expectations according to your spouse than to have your spouse according to your expectations.