Friday, April 23, 2010

Lord God made them all !

Lord God was  definitely not feeling  at his best  when He decided to make these people .Infact if you allow me to be more vehement , it all happened when  God was actually in one of his foulest moods that He looked  from the sky  on the Earth , saw too much of love , happiness in abundance and cheerfulness all pervasive and , finding it a bit too cloying for his liking that He decided to cut up these people whom  I call CUT ie Constantly Unhappy Types   .God went to the lab , mixed a few potions some of which were lying unused there for  a long time ,concocted a formula ,injected it into his first prototype and  went upon testing it.
Just when  the  God was still taking readings, the first CUT complained "but God , why  the rainbow here doesn't have very defined colours? See , the blue and indigo are all mixed up".I reckon , this must be the first official complaint  registered by anybody to the GOD's good office  .Ever since , generations and generations  of these CUT are on their job of  wailing , complaining , cussing , whining , getting annoyed and irritated..........and all with  great gusto and fervor.
 These people are most unhappy to be happy . All  they want from life is unhappiness and  when they find it ,and they do find it, they are the most happily unhappy people .
When they receive a love letter , they are upset because the paper was dog eared .
when they are on their  honeymoon , they sulk about not getting a window seat  in flight.
When  their wife cooks excellent food , they are unhappy that she doesn't know French .
When people  congratulate them about owning a good house, they think of their neighbour's unkempt lawns and  how it detracts the beauty of their house and get annoyed.
When they present their wife a blue dress and a red dress , and she chooses to wear one of them to please the husband , The CUT husband promptly gets annoyed that she didn't like the other one.
when their grand children visit them , instead of enjoying their company such people are anxious that kids will leave the lights and Ac's on and  taps half closed .
while it could be a subject of research for the social scientists and even pschycologists to find the reason behind the obsession for  perpetual unhappiness ,I feel and strongly so, that  the CUT are scared of being happy .By making other people responsible for their unhappiness they play a victim .They seek attention by complaining and sulking  and would  feel insecured if they had to  admit that their unhappiness was their matter and others had nothing to do with it .This  would not only deprive them of   extra attention but also of an excuse for the failures.
The CUT also characteristically feel that their voice be taken as a Voice of Customer which  means every grievance be  validated and  action be taken .Whether  they speak in an active voice like "I told you and you didn't pay heed......" or in a passive voice like "this job should have been done by you ....." ; they can always be trusted  for being grumpy and complaining .
There is  a point to be noted here that CUT and the normal ( I do not have another better collective  noun for non CUT)people have only one thing in common ie the CUT look forward to complaints from others as much as non CUT do.
Here , I may sound like and also I intend to , that I am making it appear as if I am referring to men only when I am talking of CUT . In India , I have seen more men being CUT than women .
One of my friend's SIL who is a Pschyciatrists in US came to visit my friend in India, after about 10 years .Observing the men , their temper tantrums and demand for attention from family ,
She  went on exclaiming  to  my friend  throughout  her stay in India about every second man including her brother  there "I tell you -this man needs help".My friend explained to her that "while Americans are being overly sensitive about their people's emotional health ,they try to help these people ,they call them -people suffering from anger management issues , low self esteem issues and stuff like that but we Indian women very insensitively bundle these guys up in a single bracket and label them as men !. we don't seek treat ment for them , we have the remedy passed on to us by our mothers and that is -just bear and grin" .
I see all around  these CUT making life miserable for  the ones who try to remain cheerful and happy .The strength of Indian families lies with these cheerful and happy people .
The CUT continue to be standing at the centre of  the locus of their unhappiness yet imagine all others around them the cause of their murky mood . I know that happy ones have only two choices -1)( the traditional one )Bear and grin  and bear more and grin more     OR  2) to  stop making an  illusive attempt to make someone happy who is so commited to be unhappy.

PS- Mom, I hope you are not reading this.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Sania's wedding and my woes

I have been worried about Sonia Mirza eversince she has distributed Boxes of Mithais to the newswallas and announced her intent to get married to Shoaib Malik . She has  also made it clear that she is not making any political statement by getting married . Yeah ,ofcourse ! we are not  so naive to think that her marrying a Pakistani cricketer is anything  akin to "Aman ki asha " . Infact even if the entire cricket team of Pakistan gets married, irrespective of their previous marriage resume',to the  women's wrestling team of India ( please  do not read it as a  malafied intention against Pakistani cricket team , the  harmless suggestion of  women's wrestling team was made for the want of sufficient number of eligible marriagable  women tennis players in India ) there will not be an iota of change in the India pakistan  relations.
Infact , the very expectation of this marriage patching up tensed Indo Pak relations is like expecting  Zandu Balm to cure the third stage cancer in the body. Right now , the mood of both the nations is not to have any diplomatic dialogue  , ofcourse other than our Foreign minister Mr.  S.M. Krishna and home minister Mr. P. Chidambaram.Even   Pakistani  foreign minister Mr.Shah Mahmood Qureshi  said "I am  not interested in any photo op with Indian Foreign ministry  " .In  the prevalent cynical mood of both the countries , this ensuing Nikah should have brought about  some kind of mood elation  if not  exactly euphoria  but unfortunately , so far what all it has  brought  about is  only  skeletons from the cupboard.
It's neither the fact that she is getting married to a pakistani nor whether she will play for India or Pakistan  that I am worried  about( Given, her performance of last 2 years  , I don't think India will lose too much or Pakistan will gain too much  whether she palys from here or there).  But ,I would have been equally worried about her happiness , had she been marrying someone from Burkinafaso and her wedding reception had not been in Lahore but Ugadaodao  because  of the kind of  signals we are getting  from her Inlaws family .My gut feeling says "all  eez not well".How can be I be sanguine when .....
Her brother in law says that "she is allowed to play after marriage" and
 her mother in law says "I do not like her skimpy clothes and her mingling with other guys". 
You see , If I had  to be allowed by my brother in law to do something which I have been doing all along or my mother in law were  to attend my wedding with a black band on her arm , I would have thought twice before getting married .
The innocent Sania declared that she would continue to support India in a cricket match and would cheer her husband when he will play for his country . I find an innate problem in this seemingly simple solution that
Sania will  find win win situation in a India pakistan cricket  match only when - her husband plays very well and despite that India wins . Now, this  match dynamics is very precarious and finding happiness  while watching cricket seems to be in doldrums to me.
If Ayesha (Shoiab's ex ) has to be believed , she told the media that he kept telling her that he was embrassed of her being fat and insisted on her losing  weight and attain 58 kg mark . Boy, this expectation is so completely outrageous ! I am worried about Sania as the   upper limit of her weight has already been fixed and whether she would be able to do this tight rope walk and will remain well within her prescribed limits?
With my experience of being married for nearly 18 years ,I want to tell Sania what I tell to all my cousins and nieces and nephews that -
Too many expectations can mar the bliss of a marriage  .          
It's better to have your expectations according to your spouse than to have your spouse according to your expectations.