A vote of thanks to life.

There is no point in grinding axe with life,  even when life makes you grind your teeth in exasperation.

It helps to be kind to life and embrace it with affection than look at it with some sort of vengeance and be sour in your heart about it .What did you think ……life was your mother in law or what? Life, just by its sheer existence is doing something called service to you  because if it did not …you would not be here  breathing  and reading this wonderful piece of bunkum   logic.

As long as life decides to favour you by being with you , you can decide to do this or  that or nothing but,in the absence of life you can not decide to do even  nothing except may be once in a while turning in your grave although I have no experience to substantiate this . And ,to be able to decide is a wonderful feeling even if it is turning in  your living grave of moronic beliefs.

 I have decided to be thankful to the life ,as it is given to me. I am thankful not only because it has allowed me to move  myself each day literally and figuratively    with the experiences which   it has been   keeping  on the shelf for me relentlessly. The simple inane looking experiences which only a nincompoop would choose to   ignore and stay uncorrupted one in its  original form.

 I am indebted  to life foremost  because so far it  has not taken me very seriously, just like many  other uncountable souls in my life,  and did not implement any serious plan to teach me lessons. There were  of course some small  doses of learning here and there but,they were plainly and solely on my own accord. Some lessons were learnt the hard way , some in the passing but it was never  the life’s serious  plan to teach me. What I learnt- I learnt owing to my own initiative i.e.  whenever I agreed to learn from those experiences.  On my learning path ,life  just agreed to not interfere or stay absent.

LESSON 1:  Love is not so easy to detect

So the biggest lesson I learnt is that love does not come packaged in shiny wrapping and blue ribbon.  It bloody comes in disguise and you should be trained better than  a security person in any Indian mall or theatre  who looks with utter disinterest   in a woman’s bag to detect a gun or a grenade. Never think of a place as impossible  to find love. A couple of days back  I collected the  honey potion of  love  from an old aunt from my childhood neighbourhood. She  was very upset with me that I  have sent my son to a hostel when there were options to keep him at home. Her complaint  was a trash but her love was  worth her   my weight in gold.  Her actual words were ( bade ayee jo apne bacchhe ko hostel bhej diya  which literally translates as –what did you think of yourself to send him to hostel) If her authority  is not love then what is?

LESSON 2:  Count your blessings and name them one by one

My another lesson is ,it’s Ok to make mistake in counting money but never make mistake in counting your blessings because banks anyway depend upon counting   machine  but blessing counting machine ,sorry boss ! you have to install it yourself in your heart. Feel blessed that someone called you JUST LIKE THAT, someone noticed your hurt despite your dry eyes, someone hugged you for nothing, someone kept that small little piece of kaju katli for you.

LESSON 3: Tit for tat is  a  bad  idea

However convincing it may sound but I have experienced otherwise. Tit for tat is a good idea only if your family and friends are criminals   ,and your neighbours are terrorists. For all other  regular angry people without ammunitions around you , folks! do not get into the spiral of titting and tatting. If you go on a spree of tit- tit -tit for every tat , someone does to you then I am afraid  you do not have focus to do anything better which might or might not be seen as tat by them. Move on I suggest. There is more to do in life than TFT game.

LESSON 4: Same window different picture


I do not know if you have experienced this before or not that two people stand in front of the same window yet see the different pictures.  If some people in the world have a proclivity to see everything  southwards ,you can not go on tilting their neck to make them see left right and centre. You are giving them spondylitis and yourself  heartburns.   See what you see and just shut up. Do not tell them what you have seen is different or what they missed to see. Bloody who appointed you to be their   cicerone (I am here to give you gyan on life and not to improve your word power, see the link for yourself to know the meaning –all you ignoramous folks. The   Chinese battery of my  halo is dying ,can’t you see?). 

LESSON 5:  Always  look for the best pair of legs in life

 hold on! hold on !!  I SAY, HOLD ON PLEEEZ! I never mentioned JeLo or Beyonce’. Nope! Never! Ever! It was only your dirty mind. I have nothing to do with it.I am Still focused on the lessons .

Breathe deep ! Inhale ……SO,I was saying that there are many types of legs we come across in life.

The ones which kick you on ,you know where, for the job not well done .Although you did all the leg work of the job  ,they use theirs to kick you.

The ones which fold towards the stomach type  ie ,instinctively these legs take side with people of  their own  clan. No rationality ,no logic ,no sentiments  they only ingratiate.

The best ones are the ones which allow you to pull theirs and take the liberty to pull yours.

People, Look for these legs and keep pulling them until they are  a mile long and give  Julia Roberts a  good run  for her legs money.

And now, you can exhale!!!